Saturday, February 25, 2006 >> The nameless

well well well...... here i am again..... well been working this past few days.... eventhough my eye is still red like blood...... it doesn't itch neither is it painful.... so acerli it's just red...... haiz.... but alhamdulilah lah that it's just a minor thing, thankful that it didn't harm my vision........ if not, i can't see the beautiful people around me......

welll like i said been working lately... that's all been doing after 3 days of off days and sitting at home waiting for my eye to be okay.......... work is alright,just it's very irritatin when one of ur team member is slow like hell.... i gotta say i'm not tat fast either but at least try ur best to do it fast lah...... show some semangat owang kata........ if u show me effort i won't scold u lah.... but i alwaes hve to do your work for you... den my work how??? haiz.....show effort lah gendeng!!!! kalo nk aku uat keje kao... kasi aku sikit gaji kao..... uat keje termenung2.,.... tersengih2..... apahal tah bdk ni....... okay okay i am frustrated for no reason........ a mth to go and i dun have to see her face animore!!!!!!!!! wakkakkaka........ k tats werk for ya.......

well i gotta say.........i love my family eventhough sometimes they make me do this do that..... they are the ones who has been keeping me sane and stable in life........ i guess without them, i don't know what i'll do...... hehehehe..... especially my mom!!!!! hahhahaha........

but yeah still not over everything that has happen in my life........ taking every single day slow and steady....... hoping along the way i won't crumble and fall........ and i wanna say something........ GO AND TRY TO HEAR THE SONG "THE NAMELESS" BY SLIPKNOT OKAY??!! read the lyrics too....... it means something.... well..... can't complain much about life cause this is life....... whether you want to get over things or not, you just have to live each day with some hope.... hope that some day.... things will get back on track.... things wud be gd again....... so adious amingos....... see you in another time yah........ take carez........





Tuesday, February 21, 2006 >> MOVING ON!!!!!

hey ho guyz....... i noe i've not been updating lately.... been down this past few days..... don't want to talk to anybody or go out or have fun....anything like tat.... i wasn't in a mood for.... but now.... yeah i'm back and moving on...... a bit different in terms of character but yeah........ so actually been doing nothing much except working everyday..... why??? to earn some cash and to fill my time with something.........


so actually i'm not working today..... not going to work for 3 days!!!!! argh!!!!!!!!! i'm down with an eye infection..... had to wear shades just to cover up my eye...... it's so red.... and it's like blood type of red.... so my eye is completely red with only the center dark brown..... was already kanchiong tis morning when i realised my eye was in this condition........ haiz....... just my luck....... but what the hell........ just don't let things get the better of me....... and actually one thing i like bout my eye rite now is the concept of a "bleeding eye" and "tears of blood"...... coz when my eye drops were packing upon my eye....i thought it was blood.... but that won't happen....... so yah that's my condition now....... man its so irritating and such a spirit breaker........ but like i said what the hell..........

haiz..... what a life i have yah..... girls...... work....... friends....family....... school......... music.........
life goes on as i lose someone special.......... things can get better i guess..... dark will turn to light one day....... TO ME YOU WERE MY SOUL COMPANION!!!!!!!! just let her go god damn it people are getting irritated with u...... acerli no one has ever said that to me...just me telling myself..... so goodbye..... moving on!!!!!!!! MOVE ON!!!!!!!!






Tuesday, February 14, 2006 >> this is how it ends





Saturday, February 11, 2006 >> nerve-wrecking indeed.....

yesterday.....friday 10 february 2006.......... i got my o level results..... went for friday prayers ferst..... prayed that i'll get a good aggregate........ along the way to the school my mind was full of questions........ how is it gonna end up??? what will i get??? why is the bus moving slow???


when i entered the school.... my god my hands were shaking..... i was so nervous..... scared...... was over my head...... as i went to the hall.... they already announced the top students from both express and academic........ looking ard sutiana hasn't arrived yet.... i was nervous....... like hell........ den it was time..... mrs lim said.......
"plz step forward to receive your results"........ i was going to receive it later coz i'm so far back in the class register.... as faris got his results he shouted for joy.... we all went to him like he scored the winning goal.... ariff got his.... he was overjoyed.....


sutiana got hers she was jumping for joy.... i was still waiting....... hands sweating....... hands trembling with fear.......... i didnt know what to expect......... rahu got off from the sit........ ho wei wei told me to sit.... she grinned...... and then she said'" hey saiful, ok,let me shake your hand ferst because you got a B 3 for your english." i was astatic...i shouted my lungs out coz i made it...... couldn't believe it.... tears came down.... i was so happy......... i couldn't believe my hard werk paid off... all those time studying with sutiana paid off.... my frieneds who came down to skul to study together........ all those nights where me and sutiana would be on the phone and recalling what we studied........ i couldnt believe that i had achieved my goals........

this is my results:
eng three
math three
sci three
POA three
Malay five
humans five

L1R4---17
L1R5---22


alhamdulilah syukur kepada tuhan..........


to all my friends be happy aite....when there's a will there's surely a way......... it doesn't end here ..... like our frenships it doesnt end here....... our brotherhood it doesnt end here........

people who are in a relationship and taking their o levels doesnt mean they will be distracted due to their love for each other..... when it comes to study..... study ferst.... after the o levels you couples can go and have as much time together like nobody's business....... help each other.... if you don't know ask......... to all couples who will be sitting for their o levels this year..... go through it together like your going through your life together with that special someone........ stand by each other... support each other......







Monday, February 06, 2006 >>

Attention all O'Level takers!!!!!!

Results are given out on the 1o of February!!!!

Which is this friday!!!!!

if your not freaked out as yet.....

i don't know why......

cause i'm here freaking out!!!

like hell!!!!!!!!

good luck to all of my friends!!!!

and other o level takers whom i know......

wish me luck!!!!!!

argh!!!! where's my ciggies??

kidding.........




Sunday, February 05, 2006 >> Your all that i need tonight

it gets harder everyday........ i'm not trying to whine..... i'm trying to pour my heart out.... i used to do it with a special person....... now things are different..... we are getting further apart but closer as a friend........ that's hard honestly.... very hard for me to swallow..........


this question goes out to you guyz......... you know if u have a gerl and literally when you close your eyes you can feel her presence, you can see her......... i used to have that..... but now when i close my eyes i see her getting further and further away..... it's like as if she's running away...... each time i try to get nearer, she gets even further.... i'm not lying....... she has been a big part of my life.... it literally feels like my heart is really ripping apart slowly and painfully........ sometimes i can't stand it....... i'm not hoping for her to read this or watever.... like i said, i need somewhere to just pour it all out....... so think of this of just a story or some sort...........


well yes i'm not over it..... don't think i will be..... yes we still talk...... cause we're still friends...... have you ever felt like don't wanna be just friends........ exactly....... to see a beautiful face with those eyes capturing your attention every single time......... it's hard...... yes indeed it is.... but i'm forcing myself not to talk about it.... yes sometimes i do still talk about it but it's just i need to get it out in the open........ for some reason my work crew knows i have a gerl...... how they know??? i don't even know.........


honestly speaking,i'm not smoking to get over her.... i need it to calm me down.... when i start to think deep in to it that i just need it to calm things down.... slow it down a notch........

to sum all of what i said...... i'm not here to whine.... i'm not here to find sympathy...... i'm just writing a chapter of my life which apprently the world gets to read it........ it's te slowest, most painful, most draggy chapter of my life........ i'm saying this straight, yes i'm hurt coz i lost her........ blame me if you want........ all i know i'm going through this.... yes my friends are there..... but the one in this is me....... i don't want other people to feel down bcoz of me.... i just want people to realise something......

not all smiles are real.... not all laughs are sincere...... even when u see me ;laughing or smiling or just plain feeling happy......... i'm actually not..... i'm a fake......... how can i let it just end...... it's for me to answer........ i hope you won't judge me after reading this.... but if you do, go ahead.... people are entitled to their own judgements and opinions........ all i know it gets lonelier every day...... it gets harder everyday......... it gets worse everyday....... things can be better.... i hope so..... but for now my feelings are real..... what i say i mean..... what i think is right...... your all that i need tonight....






Wednesday, February 01, 2006 >> What did i get myself into....

hey hey babycats...... babycats??? apa sey tu...... k to whatever it is..... so yah werking todae.... got home at 6.... lepak ngan faris jap after werk........ minum teh isap rokok jap and the canteen at my werkplace........so now i'm officially in a team....the team is okay ah..... the people in it is easy to talk to so it's not hard for me..... but at ferst it was so weird...... like they were perfect strangers but now they are my werk frenz.....



so acerli nt so tired la..... it's just that i dun want to clean a transit plane..... it's bcoz not all the passengers will be alighting so that means they will be passengers looking while we werk..... the ferst time i had to clean a transit flight was the Sri lankan plane.....as i had to do my werk fast the people were like staring at me and they had their astonished face on..... like "whoa,he's doin it reali fast...." not acerli a problem but it was my ferst time so it was weird.........


but now i'm okay with my werk ah..... starting to be fun.... but wen the leader complain a bit irritated but it's just that she wants to werk faster.... but todae she didn't complain coz me n faris are getting faster..... so she's happy.... everybody's happy....... n the weird thing is every team i go wic is only two so far, the like to make jokes...... and i love tat..... makes it non'stressful.... yeah!!! and yah just now met the training crew at the canteen after werk.... was great seeing them.... lepak dok lepak........

so yah..... i guess i've blown my chance away when i started to smoke my days away...... nothing seems more worst than the sight of me without you...... so i guess i have to live with this........ what can i say....... maybe things can get even worse than this but i'm thankful it didn't......

My Profile

Name: Saiful Johan Sukri---
B-day:05 january ---
Age: 18---
School: Going to Ngee Ann Poly---

Loves

[Music ] ---
[Soccer ] ---
[Writing ] ---
[Jamming ] ---
[Mountain Dew] ---

Hates

[Dogs ] ---
[Fruits with seeds ] ---
[Veggies ] ---
[Weird smells ] ---
[people who hate me ] ---