Monday, February 28, 2005 >> to hell with u and all ur frenz!!!!!!!!

todae......da O level results were released!!!!!haiz.......i see tat many ppl didnt do quite well ah......haiyoo.....



yah so todae was quite borin.......k i am tired so not goin to say a lot......so basically da o level result were out........okay.......den all 4E n 5N had to stay bck n see da results.....express batch did well but da academic did not......scary sial!!!!!!!!yah den many ppl sey.....all da malay gerls alreadi graduated all come back with faces full of make up........some thick......but many beautiful man....haiyoo.........yah den afta tat went jamming......plan tat it shud be at 5 but saiful n arep came at 530........haiyoo.....todae was a great jamming session.....played decade under the influence n buried myself alive.......we played it well but we can do better........yeah so overall it was a great jam session.....tired but happy.........am so tired~~~



TO HELL WITH U AND ALL UR FRENS.....SAY U WILL GO...I DUN CARE........



Sunday, February 27, 2005 >> Dont stay....gdnite......and walk away witout tat kiss u owe me.....

Sundae!!!!! boring sey todae.....did my hmwrk da whole dae....tats all......haiyoo......and tis is goin to be the shortest post i ever wrote....i tink.....notin to write la~~~ haiz.....lazy sey to do my hmwrkz........decided not to do my poa coz no ledger paper n i am so lazy to do it....lai cnfrm wun scold one la.......she lelek.......okay.......k la tats all.....wow so short......k ppl anitin u noe my number....if u dunnoe juz leave me a note at my tagboard.....



Friday, February 25, 2005 >> u'll never know how i feel all this while!!!!!!~

hey ho lets go!!! hey ho lets go!!! okay........2dae.........NOTING AT ALL!!!!!!


orite start da skul badly.........haiz.........u all dun need to noe coz i dun want to tok bout it......yah den started with jumiah....she told us that da debate ting was goin to be on wednesdae.........haiz....my team is bad!!!!! but at least we will give a shot.....wats life witout tryin rite.........afta tat got chem.....confidence!!!!!!! okay basically skul was quite dull okay.....the end....wakwakwakz..........so afta skul went bck get dress to go to fridae prayers......... yeah fridae!!!!!!! afta tat went to play pool.......yeah....beat zul!!!!!!!! acerli i dun consider a win.....da fued between us wun end zul!!!!!!!! same goes for rahu!!!!!!! hahahha...den went to eat a bit den went home............at 6!!!!!! oritez....tats ma dae........goin gig tmolo....mayb hopfully..........i dun even noe if i'm goin or nt....my bro performing ah at SUBSTATION........



i am not hoping animore..........u noe why?????? i dun want to bring my hopes up.........gerls lyk to do tat to me....dunnoe why.......follow da trend ah...every single one follow da trend of hurtin me......one by one.......AND I MEAN ONE BY ONE.........dun tink i will be wit anyone......da answers are obvious why.........juz look at me......tere r a lot of ans from looking at me.......haiz....... gerls??????? gerls?????? gerls????? hurt me everidae!!!!!! reject me everidae!!!!!! yeah!!!!! but at least i am okay...........gd bye love...........gdbye love!!!!!!



Wednesday, February 23, 2005 >> FALSE HOPES FOR TEENAGE HEART!!!!!

you made me happy u made me sad
don't you see that i felt so bad
by all your twisted stories and lies
when will you feel sori for me

and all i hope is just for you
is that so much to ask
but i wont hope and i wont dream
cause all it does is end with misery

and i waited for you
but you never ever did came true

Tuesday, February 22, 2005 >> it isnt worth it juz isnt!!!!

FEW TINGS I WUD LYK TO SAY FERST.......TIRED!!!! AM STILL SICK SINCE YESTERDAE!!!! HAD A VERY LONG DAE!!!!!!! NEED TO STUDY FOR SS TEST 2MOLO N ITS ON DA CHAPTER I HAD DA MOST!!!!!!


okay.....2dae i was so sick....running nose continued.....lyk wanted to build a dam on ma nose so it stops dripping!!! haiz........and kept coughing also!!!! haiz.....i am even coughing rite now....but when i check my temperature it will be the normal body temperature........okay......2dae......notin much happen........malay was so damn fun nowadays......esp wit filza ard.....she fun ah......juz now teased her den she majok n disturb me john-john for da malay lesson......majok sak...hahaha but it was reali fun.....enjoi her lesson!!!! eng was da worst!!! jumiah has no manners!!! so rude.....amli passed me da class list to write our cca stuff and instead of juz sayin keep tat away.....i was readin it and suddenly she took it away and put it at rahu's desks.....cant ask politely izzit???? den afta tat no mood alreadi during her period.....2molo 3 period s wit her some more!!!! haiz............yah den had our science common test.......chemistry was horrendous....physic was quite okay...die!!!!!!! den afta tat PE.....haiyoo....stupid sey todae...........lucky ow relek......one round of running den sit up.....me sit up had to do alone coz ow asked dixon to partner zul...mayb he tink i can do easily ah....hmmmm.......others did on da ground i was alone doin on da normal sit up bench....okay jgk do alone....but borin also...hahha den shot put.....boring!!!!!! i wanted javelin!!!!!!!! k atts all ah for ma day.....hav to study ah....but wanna see after skul rawks ferst ah....will nvr ever miss it!!!!!!!



2dae.....i tot of sumtin wen i was so sick in class wen i felt juz want to sleep,i tot bout tis.......u noe sumtimes wen u reali luv sum1 it can sumtimes be such a waste.........wen u try try try try try try try try try to make tat sum1 lyk u....hahahha i laugh wen i tink bout tis.....hahahhahaha..........now i guess i hav to juz relax u noe....but sumtimes other than chilling wit ma crew,it wud be great to chill wit sum1 i like n sum1 tat is special i mean.......i dun wanna sound lyk a desperado.....i juz tink sumtimes its great to hav sum1 u noe........looking at couples all around me.... hahahhaha......many couples ard me........ no one may undastand me.........no one will nvr noe........ how did it end up tis way????? isnt tere anyone out tere for me?????

n i noe teres u but sumtimes i get da feeling u dun feel the same....do u miss me da way i miss u????? i noe tat u hav spoken da whole truth but hey....i noe i cant make u feel da way i want u to...........i noe i hav no control of you!!!!! i cant stop u from wanting sum1 else....but now da case is tat u hav told me all da percentage ting........hope u live up to tat....... hurt me once......i made tat pass.... haiz.......sumtimes i hope u wud juz say it!!!!! say it and put my pains away!!!!! make me wat u want me to be!!!!!!! read tis lines carved on my heart!!!!!!!!



Monday, February 21, 2005 >> i tot i shud be saying i'm sori but i guess u have to too!!!

wahpiang!!!!! TIRED......SICK........HEADACHE..........HAVEN STUDY FOR MY SCIENCE TESTS......WRITING TODAES POST.......AARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!


okay.....so todae wasnt all tat bad.....juz tat i had a running nose for da whole dae as well as a stomache....fuck man!!!! cant stand my nose acerli......juz now doin da math test sempat ask chung heng for tissue!!!!! yah da highlight todae is the math common test!!!!!! b4 da test start me n syamir quickly went to da toilet....den wen i came back....wow......da new teacher in skul......ms lai i tink....her face lyk ouh ling ling and her body quite nice ah....got figure.....nice ass by da way....k sori ppl....i am sick so cant tink straight so i am tokin shit........serious ah nice ass......hahahhahah....luckily can still concentrate on ma test....or not......haiyoo cannot do a single qn.....i tink i hav done badly for tat test.....serious tokin ah....i tink i may fail it.....fuck it!!!!!! shit sial!!!!!!! okay la tats all....damn now i hav a headache,running nose ,and am starting to cough....... haiz.......



i wish u wud miss me....the way tat i miss u!!!!!!! man........ tot of HER occasionally tis daes.... why is she not online at msn???? nk bbual jgk aku ni....man i am high!!!!!! cannot finsh tis emo section....k tats all folks....adious!!!!!!!



Friday, February 18, 2005 >> You know its true...you know i'd die for you!!!





Wednesday, February 16, 2005 >> u broke my heart into a thousand pieces n u say i deserve better??!!

waddupp???wats wrong wit me todae.....hahah dunnoe why ah.......okay lets recap shall we!!

okay da ferst two period of skul was borin.......da principal came into class n spoke to us for da whole two periods....haiyoo....dunnoe la tok bout wat cant remember ah....n yah 2dae is daryl's b'dae......hapi bdae american idiot!!!!yah den afta tat POA.....most of da lesson was spent on laughin sey....she kept makin stupid funny jokes...n kiter melebih lebih kan...mcm mana tk ketawa.....den cme....boring!!!! den 3 periods of english with jumiah......but luckily juz do simple werk.....den her period also laugh a lot.....how can she sae EM1 as EMI.....so diff rite...mayb da paper not clear ah....wateva la....den cme again....boring!!!!!!!hahahha....den skul was over for tat dae........den skali last minute plan gi jamming......alamak ni 3 badotz.....hahahaha......jam at 4 finish at 6.......not bad......faris made a new rhythm alreadi....veri emo sey....want to make me cry ah da intro....u guyz shud listen to it......but wasted we had no idea wat to make da song into....haiyoo......den tatas all ah......

okay la guyz adious!!!!

love hurts!!!!! love sucks!!!!!!! but i want sum1!!!!! dunnoe why ah.......ma heart keep sayin i want sum1 special to spend my time wit...i noe its o levels dis yr but fuck u!!!!hahahha.....u broke my heart into a thousand pieces and u say its bcoz i deserve better????!!!!!! u are so wrong!!!!!!



Tuesday, February 15, 2005 >> u know i'd die for you!!!!!!

WORDS FROM STARCROSSSED BY ASH!!!! WAT AN EMO SONG!!!!!!

I wish I could ease your fears
I would catch the diamond tears you're weeping

I'll remain in your hold
Body, mind, heart and soul
As long as I breathe

When your faith turns to despair
Always will my love be there
And never fade away

It's true
You know that I'd die for you
You know that I'd die for you
You know that I'd die for you


K tats enuf of tat......2dae i keep yawning n yawning.......da onli period tat was fun was during malay coz went to comp lab and juz copy down answers for our hmwrk tat we had done by da way!! den one highlight of da day was wen chung heng asked me wat is da meaning of kacang..... den i wanted to joke n i said it means chicken......n he believed me....he ohhh......kwang nam also for awhile believed me....den rahu n dinee heard it n dey were laughing lyk hell smpai tergolek2......hahahha.....i am mean sumtimes.....den afta skul had our common test....was okay ah...onli comprehension for english....lucky no summary qn or not i will be lazy to do it......den had PE........lucky mr ow noe tat its veri veri veri hot junnow.....we ran 3 rounds 4 warm up....den did sit ups....den sprinting........afta tat juz relax je......okay ah dis PE lesson......den went home.....reach home bout 5 den afta tat i was so damn tired i went to ma bed n sleep until 630......hahahhaha.....den tats all.....wakwakwakz.....


babe sal tk reply msg2....gi holiday kapa smpai tk reply....apa la.....n for HER.......wateva u say wun make me change wat i feel rite now........



Monday, February 14, 2005 >> fuck you!! fuck valentine!!!

haiz.....VALENTINES DAE.....go n fuck urself!!!!

okay....2dae was quite a borin dae.....got back my history and malay test paper.....got 13/25 for history and 28/50 for malay....pathetic siall!!!!! so damn dissappointed......hahhahah......can laugh summore.....heartless bastard!!!! yah den afta skul got oral with jumiah......me kwang nam shafiq dinee n syamir all had our oral 2dae.....ferst was kwang nam den shafiq den dinee den syamir den me.....dinee nyer part me n syamir tease her a little so she wud laugh....hahah......den syamir i tried to make him laugh but he was too focus ah......den my turn.,.....she say ma reading aloud very well done juz made one mistake not sayin da werd 'are'....haiyoo....den ma pic discription ahncur sikit....she told me to be careful wit tat......be more observent....den da conversation part she say i was gd no need promting tat i can speak very well....very freely...too freely.....den she say i tok a lot in class....wat da fuck!!! den she say during ma oral i keep smiling a lot n tat is a gd ting....wen did i smile a lot.....lately ppl keep sayin bout me smiling all tat......haiyoo......but i tink i want to smile more ah....hahahha....den afta tat went home then tats it....wakwakwak.....yah n tis gerl at 7-11 smiled at me den i smile bck.....dunnoe since wen gerls start to notice me n smile at me???? mayb its valentines dae??? no its juz a coincidence......fuck valentines!!!!!hahahha



WAT DA FUCK LA....I TELL U STRAIGHT 4WARD LA N BCOZ ITS VALENTINES DAE.....I AM NOT OKAY.....I PROMISE I AM NOT....TRUST ME I AM NOT OKAY...........U HURT ME SOO DAMN BAD.......SERIOUSLY SPEAKIN AH.......FUCK VALENTINES.....FUCK DA WERLD......FUCK MYSELF!!!!!! FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!



Sunday, February 13, 2005 >> i can see it in ur eyes..ur broken down ur hands r tied!!!





Friday, February 11, 2005 >> now i start a new....without you!!!!!!!!





Tuesday, February 08, 2005 >> IT FUCKIN HURTS!!!!!!!! IT FUCKIN HURTS!!!!!!!!

What i did todae.........

• Went to skul for CNY concert......
• after that went to play soccer at the street soccer court......

THATS ALL!!!!!! THATS ALL I DID TODAE.........

After all of this.........after a long time.......it all ends........it ends by not a phone call...........i lost you without getting to hear your voice 4 da last time......waited waited waited........i cud hav waited no matter how long u want me to.......but it had to end tis way........fuck............motherfuckin shit........hate this..........why didnt u tell me bout it????? was it too much to let me noe earlier.........but i made a pfuckin promise to you!!!!!!! i will not blame you for anitin even how much u hurt me.....i wont put a single blame on u........u were all that i needed.........maybe i was blind.........blinded by da sight of you!!!!! hate this part of my life........now ur gone away........ tings will be better if u stay!!!!!!! its hard to say gdbye........THIS IS MY LAST SERENADE!!!.......I FEEL YOU FROM FAR AWAY!!!........didnt even crossed my mind that tings would end tis way..........i've waited for you....u noe tat i waited a long time but u made me tis way.............it fuckin hUrts.........IT FUCKIN HURTS!!!!!! tot u were different......i was soo damn wrong!!! soo soo soo wrong.........how can tis happen...............so tis is da end.....no more of you.....i will be goin thru withdrawal of u!!!!!!!! I RAISE DA VOLUME OF EVERY EMO SONG TODAE........SHOUTED FUCKIN STUPID LINES!!!! WROTE STUPID MEANINGLESS SHIT!!!!!!!!! WHY CANT U JUZ BE HAPPY WITH ME!!!!! IT FUCKING HURTS!!!!!!! IT FUCKING HURTS!!!!!!!! IT FUCKING HURTS!!!!!!!

I WILL BE GOING THRU WITHDRAWAL OF YOU!!!!

I WILL BE GOING THRU WITHDRAWAL OF YOU!!!!

TIS IS WHAT I WROTE TODAE....LYRICS I MEAN.........

you made me cry
you made me weak
you made me all that i want to be
but u cant
make me
the luckiest guy

Why did i say
i love you
when u dont say it back
did i waste
my time
not thinking about the facts

i would not speak to you
if thats what will make you happy
i would leave your heart
if thats what will make you happy

[not goin to update coz i want to stick this post for awhile!!! my nex post will be on fridae hopfully!!! ppl read tis post!!! emo me!!! ma smile n laughs r fakes]

Monday, February 07, 2005 >> VIVA LA PUNK RAWK!!!!!!!!!!!





Friday, February 04, 2005 >> Lie to me!!! Tell me something worth living for!!!

ohhh yes!!!! its Fridae!!!! thank god.....cant stand english lesson.........alhamdulilah jumaat sudah tiba!!!! started da dae with eng period......walau wey!!!!tk ble angkat dolz.........den it was chemistry time....praktikal!!!!!fun ah......mix tis mix tat....i like especially wen da solution turned to black percipitate.......it was soo black....so dark......reminds me of metal musik!!!!! if i got any kind of camera conferm i will take a picture of that sey........den mlay relek juz copy down ans......chill jer......math didnt do anitin coz my werk finished alreadi......da da most borin n sleepy period.....Combined humanities........i was so sleepy.....tears came out from my eyes......haiyoo......see beside me jessica was paying attention.....look da other way amli was in da same mindset as me.....both wanted to sleep.....rahu also.......yah den da ending was funny.....satu2 kuar kan nama bapak......babi sak!!!!!! but at least satu2 tak amik hati......power!!!! den went home n went to da mosque.......coz todae is fridae dumbass!!!!after fridae prayers went to play pool with zul,syamir and khalis......played 4 about 1 n a half hours like that.....den during bout our last few games.....terserempak with ma old crew......zul,tawfik and nizam.......of all places we met at da pool house....wat are da odds......yah den went home.....bought some food n took it home coz i was so hungry.........btw ma bro lost his bag n he is havin a bad mood towards everybody.....i dun want to tok to him....waste my time.....say a bit den later he will scold......haiz....



okay....i tink i wanna call u......i want to......i want to....i want to......say yes!!!!!i wrote sumtin todae......complete with guitar rhythms.....da rhythm a little bit like GSF.........made da lyrics while playing da guitar so more easy.....its bout u n me.....hope we can be together one dae.....let me write a few lines from my song for u guyz.....


i love u so much
in so many ways
that i just
cant explain

and after
all of this
ur still all
that i'm wanting




Thursday, February 03, 2005 >> LIFE ISN'T WHAT IT SEEMS!!!

okay basically todae notin happen....at skul notin much happen......gt home rest den played comp.....den search for a new blogskin almost da whole afternoon sey.......haiyoo...... acerli found one but was almost da same as areeff's skin so didnt want to be da same....den i found tis......nice or not ppl???? but wasted.....cudnt put video coz too big it will cover some of ma post so tot juz put a song in ma blog.....also cannot....dunnoe why....frustrated so juz leave it to no sound.....u all want to listen to a song go play it urself la!!!!hahahahhah.......heard bout yesterdaes incident during da captains ball game....haiyoo......tkble u noe....tk ble!!!!!ok la ppl tats basically it.....

i want u now.....i want u tonite......i needed you!!! why are you so far away???!!!! can i wait 4 as long as one year???? haiyoo......valentines dae comin closer....eventhough i dun celebrate it........juz want to say.....i hate tat dae....not acerli hate it....juz dun feel tat dae is such a remarkable dae......i'm still wanting you.......can i show u how much u mean to me???!!!




Wednesday, February 02, 2005 >> Wrote tis da other dae...dunnoe wat to write 4 todae acerli...

Do you remember the time
when we were something,when you were mine
All along i thought we were fine
and the times i shared with you every night



I'll remember you....
For all the torment and pain
All the darkest hours remain like a stain
For all the times you made me insane
I promise,i won't forget a thing



See all the photos we took
you looked so happy,we looked so happy
You stole my heart,like a twisted,psychotic crook
what made you turn this way,what made you hate me



only god knows why
for all the shit and all the lies
you made me this way
you made me hurt me



come here my dear
There's something i would like you to hear
Is it me or is it my fear
Are you leaving me and leave me to tears




[This goes to those who had rejected me,who made me this way,who broke my heart...i wrote this for you.....wats on the outside is completely different in my inside....believe me when i say....i'm not okay.....]




Tuesday, February 01, 2005 >> smack tat ass!!!

okay la ppl.....i am gonna update bout tuesdae wic is todae la....mondae notin much happen ah so no need to tok bout mondae okayz.......okay.....01-02-05....tuesdae.....k acerli i am tired coz 2dae kan ada PE......k skul was acerli oritez just ma stomache spoiled ma dae a bit.......acerli 2dae i asked shafiq to look out for me......if i laugh my usual laugh tell me....i wanna try stopin maself from laughin tat way.....but i cant stand it.......at da end of da dae i laguhed tat way.....hey tis is ma laugh so phuck off!!!!

english lesson was such A DRAG....N I MEAN IT.....I HATE ENGLISH LESSON WITH JUMIAH!!!!!!k den went home n change into ma PE attire n went to meet faris n shafiq........den skali meet them,ain was also tere....moments later izzati pon dtg.....acerli got to wait for syahiran also den skali seme dah naik bus aru dier dtg......lucky da bus havent left da bus stop....so syahiran in da end got in da same bus as us.....WAH!!!! CHEY DEH BAH KAMBING!!!!den blablabla....PE was at bdk rez park...had to run one round......lazy sak...den all da way Mr Pay keep pusihng me....n i mean oush me.....got contact.....n he didnt juz push lightly....he push like got problem wit me........den he was fed up wit pushing ppl he started to smack them at their ass......N I MEAN HE SMACKED US AT DA ASS.....VERY HARD BY DA WAY.....tot it was irritatin but in da end was quite funny acerli........hahaha.....den afta tat went home den now i am here.......

okay its been so long......so long since i tok to u......miz ur voice veri much u noe tat.......now got another situation comin in.....but i am taking it lightly...not goin to allow it take over my life........yeah!!!!! haiz.....why cant it juz be now.......wudnt it be much easier!!!!dunnoe wat to say to u la....HER.......u r all i wanting now.....sum1 tat can tolerate me n juz hang out wit me in a sense tat we are more than frenz.......dunnoe la eh......

DEMONS OF LOVE...U R KILLING ME SOFTLY WITH VISIONS OF HER.......

DEMONS OF LOVE...HELP ME PLZ IN ENDING TIS CRUSH TAT IS NVR GOIN AWAY.....

DEMONS OF LOVE...I PROMISE YOU TAT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE HER,BUT I WILL NEVER LET HER KNOW........

My Profile

Name: Saiful Johan Sukri---
B-day:05 january ---
Age: 18---
School: Going to Ngee Ann Poly---

Loves

[Music ] ---
[Soccer ] ---
[Writing ] ---
[Jamming ] ---
[Mountain Dew] ---

Hates

[Dogs ] ---
[Fruits with seeds ] ---
[Veggies ] ---
[Weird smells ] ---
[people who hate me ] ---